An extract from 6JW’s Adrian Hayes Biography ‘On Top of the World'
At last! Adrian had finally achieved his life long goal. There he was, standing as proud as a lion, on top of the world. Reaching the mighty summit of the towering Mount Everest was no mean feet, especially with a troublesome breathing mask. Blank, astonishing white surrounded his magnificent view. Despite not being able to feel his feet, his physical and emotional endurance had paid off. Adrian was literally 'Over the clouds' at what he and the team had just achieved.
At last! Adrian had finally achieved his life long goal. There he was, standing as proud as a lion, on top of the world. Reaching the mighty summit of the towering Mount Everest was no mean feet, especially with a troublesome breathing mask. Blank, astonishing white surrounded his magnificent view. Despite not being able to feel his feet, his physical and emotional endurance had paid off. Adrian was literally 'Over the clouds' at what he and the team had just achieved.
The above is an example of the standard of writing we are looking for in your biography homework. We wrote this as a class On Sunday (22nd Nov).
Look at the brilliant description we included. We used a simile, complex sentences and lots of great vocabulary.
Remember to do the same in your writing – make it exciting, engaging and interesting!
Look at the brilliant description we included. We used a simile, complex sentences and lots of great vocabulary.
Remember to do the same in your writing – make it exciting, engaging and interesting!
5 comments:
It is an amazing paragraph - I amsure everyone's biographies will be brilliant too!
Hazel :-P
That is extremely descriptive and creative.I can't believe we thought of that in a class.We are AMAZING !!!!
JAMAL
This is a great piece of descriptive writing, I am so proud of everyone in the class for involving and coming up with a super paragraph.
Corynn
The paragraph that the class wrote is AWESOME!!
Richard
I agree with Jamal! Lovely discription!
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