FUN CHALLENGE
Why don't you use your brain power to imporve these 4 simple sets of (and a little bit boring ) sentences.
Only rules they have to have roughly the same meaning - trying adding adjectives, changing verbs, adding adverbs, using connectives etc to improve them.
Add your newly improvements sentences at comments to this post!
1 - The man walked up the stairs. He went to bed.
2 - The girl went to the park.
3 - Archie was happy with the score.
4 - Louise wanted a horse ride.
Mr Watson
P.s. House points for the best entries and efforts !
Space
12 years ago
15 comments:
The ugly man walked up the transparent, glass stairs and reluctantly went to his sticky bed.
The cheerful girl skipped to the phenomenal world class park.
Archie, a happy boy, was absolutely astonished with the great score.
Louise, a courageous girl, wanted to ride the handsome, chestnut horse.
Adam B.
The man skipped up the stairs,he tripped and hurt his back, so he went back to his soft, comfortable bed.
The weird man strolled up the stairs and went to bed.
The cheerful girl happly strolled to the beautiful park.
Achie was very happy with the great score.
Louise a very nice and courages girl wanted to ride the beautiful horse
Francesca
1. The fat man hopped up the illuminous stairs, before he gracefully climbed into his soft and bouncey bed.
1. The disturbing, old man stumbled up the stairs and unhygienically went to bed, even though it was 5 in the afternoon.
2. The energenic girl skipped to the park acknowledging all the scenery on the way to the beautiful, spacious park.
3. Archie, a ridiculously grateful boy, was perfectly satisfied with the results of the score.
4. Louise, a girl who gave no mercy to the things she was scared off, decided to face her fears and she wanted a horse more than anything else.
1. The Untidy man walked up the uneven stairs.
2. The Happy Girl Zoomed to the cheerful park which was awaiting her.
3. Archie,a footballer was extremaly happy with the good score
4. Louise, The girl who lives down the road Really wanted a Horse ride
Felix
1)
The old,green clever man who was the age of 99, with greasy grey hair rode up the wonky brown stairs in his blue and white stripy pyjamas to his tiny, creeky bed were he slept quietly for the freezing night ahead of him.
2)The joyful little brown haired girl walked by herself through the dark woods just to get to the wonderous,colourful park were she was to meet katy,savannah and sophie her bestfriends.
3)Archie was jumping up and down with a red face and a big smile spread across his face just because his team won the grand world cup and the massive golden trophe, which he was over the moon about!
4)Louise stirent who was fearless demanded that she would ride black fury, the fastest 8 time winner horse in the hole world so she could appear on the morning news on the 24th of december 2009!
Rose (hanover) hope i get a heroic hanover house point!!
1. The swiftly walking man pranced up the stairs while reading his favourite book, reluctantly he fell and limbed to his bed.
2. Sally, the joyful little 8 year old girl, cantered briskly along the eneven pavement arriving very soon a the picturesque park.
3. Archie was really overjoyed with his amazing score from his report card.
4. Louise was a very enterprising 11 year old who wanted to ride the elegant, graceful, sleek midnight black horse.
The old man stumbled up the stairs ,tripping over his feet every few steps, and lande on his rickety bed with a thump
Corynn Foote said:
1) The extremely old and rinkly man finally reached the top of the huge stairs, but to tired so he collapsed on his bed.
2) Samantha, 8 years old, rode proudly on her new bike, with her hair flying in the air, arriving at the fresh green park.
3) Archie, 12, was tremendously happy with the score in the super game.
4)Louise, a very impatient 7 year old, was screaming her head off and going bright red just because she wanted to have a pony ride on the small black pony.
The fat man went on the computer
meanwhile his freind was in bed
Hi guys,
These are my improved sentences that I did:
1) The stupid man ridicolously stumbled up the uneven stairs to go to his freezing, wooden bed that gave him back pains.
2) The polite and beautiful girl wandered over to the park to meet up with her friends.
3) The gullible Archie stubbornly looked at his reflectionin a bright golden trophy (which didn't belong to his team) , and thought, 'I'm happy with the score!'
4) An eager Louise waited and waited for her turn on the beige and chestnut coloured horse that always obeyed your instructions, as if it was 'listening' to you.
Hope this is good enough!
From Emily
The enormously obese man, with greasy yellow hair, hobbled slowly up the the mould-grey coloured stairs into his huge kingsize bed, which bent under his astounding weight.
The young, carefree girl, with hair tied into neat bunches, hummed a merry tune as she skipped happily to the spacious, fresh park.
Archie, a curly-haired boy with freckles, was delighted with the amazing results his favourite team (Blazing Rockets; the all time best basketball squad) had achieved.
Louise, a small girl of 7, was desperate to ride the majestic, coal black horse Midnight, who had competed in the HP League against champions(Horses & Ponies League).
Sorry about my first sentence, it's ment to be landed not lande!
A strange man coususy ran up the lumpy stairs and we went to us lumpy bed.
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